I GRADUATED!! (And then some..)

MAGNIFICENTLY MCKINNLEY: Blog #3

Hello All! Welcome back to your favorite blog, Magnificently McKinnley; with your favorite blogger, ME! I realize that I have not posted a blog in the past two days, because things have gotten a tad bit busy. So I apologize for not posting sooner, but not to worry because I'm back NOW! Today we are discussing some pretty big things, including the fact that I GRADUATED!! (hence why I haven't blogged in a bit) But yes, I did it, I got my Bachelor's degree! It took a lot of hard work and a lot of dedication, but I am so thankful I was able to do it. Now, my story/journey to my Bachelor's degree is probably unlike any you've ever heard before, I finished my Bachelor's in 2 and 1/2 years! It's a little bit crazy, but also so totally amazing. So let's DIVE IN!

Okay, to start things off, I'm going to go into a little bit of background history on how I got to where I am today. I was only able to graduate so early thanks to the amazing opportunities provided by my high school which allowed me to have around 30 college credits by the time I graduated High School, and due to the incredible program design of the PA program I am in now. In middle school I was able to partake in a program of such, in which students were allowed to "skip" a grade level in the subjects of math and science. Students who did this were called the "Accelerated Kids" and were usually presumed to be the geeky, smart kids. By jumping ahead a whole grade level in those subjects we were essentially able to be done with our required high school math and science courses by our Junior year of high school. This allowed us to take college courses through our local community college and earn college credits to transfer into our respective schools once we graduated. 
Another way I earned more college credits was by taking AP courses during high school. AP courses, or Advanced Placement courses, were designed to help students who were moving at a fast pace in regular course, feel more challenged. In high school I took many AP courses, such as Biology, English, and History. To receive college credit for these courses, you had to take the AP Exams and score a 3 or higher. Thankfully, I did on every AP Exam I took and was able to use those courses for college credit. 
A third way I was able to receive more college credit in high school was through a career and technology program my school provided called New Vision Health. This program was geared toward students looking to attend college and study in the medical field as PAs, NPs, Doctors, Nurses, PTs, OTs, Speech Pathologists, Anesthesiologists, Dentists and much more. To get into to the program you had to apply, interview and be picked to be one of the select few seats provided to your school. This program was rigorous, challenging, time-consuming but also incredible! I am so thankful I applied and was selected to participate in this program. Not only did I take classes geared toward my desired field of study, but I also took college classes through the program such as Speech and Government/Public Affairs. The program also provided us with clinical days, in which you were able to shadow in any field you desired. I shadowed just about every field I listed above, excluding dentistry, and in a ton of different settings and places. I was able to not only get a feel for every field and truly decide upon which profession I would pursue, but I also learned what each profession truly does and how to respect, understand and care for my future colleagues. 
These amazing opportunities gave me a leg up in my college program and allowed me to basically have a WHOLE entire year of college down by the time I started. 

So, as I stated before, I arrived to college with a little over 30 credits. Thankfully, my college agreed to take ALL 30ish credits, aside from 1 or 2 courses. This was HUGE due to the fact that many colleges don't do this very often and usually make you take and pay for their courses instead. So by my school taking 30 credits, I was able to jump almost a whole year ahead! My freshman and sophomore year were packed full of 18 credits each semester with a summer course thrown into the mix. By packing my schedule with the most amounts of credits possible, I was able to apply to my PA program a whole year early, and GOT IN!

My PA program is 3 + 2 program, this means 3 years of undergraduate and 2 years graduate. To make this work in order to get a Master's degree in 5 years instead of 6, the program is set up to have you take a full course of classes through each summer of the last 2 years. The first summer and fall of the program allows your credits to go towards your undergraduate and graduate degree, resulting in a graduation that January, after the fall semester. But, since our school is so small, you have to wait until May to walk, which is what I did yesterday! Okay, now that sounded confusing I'm sure, but by this strategic set up that my program does, I was able to turn the 3 + 2, into a 2 + 2, through my credits. I only had to complete 2 years of undergrad and the summer and fall of my program in order to graduate! This seems a little bit crazy, but I have always been an over achiever and a determined and hard worker. I dream big dreams and I do what I have to to get them. But being so determined and so hard working and constantly striving to reach my goals as quick as possible, comes with a price. 

I have struggled with Perfectionism for my entire life. Ever since I was little, I was always wanting and striving to be the best, achieve the best grades, look my best, and be the perfect person that everyone in my life wanted me to be. I would study endlessly, work for hours and hours on projects that should have only taken me 20 minutes, get up at 5 am to make myself look my best before school every morning, diet and exercise to extremes to try and be "skinny" like everyone else I knew. I would tear myself apart everyday if I wasn't perfect, no matter how small the situation might have been. I would cry for hours on end if I failed at something, and throw myself into panic attacks if something wasn't going right. I felt constant pressure from myself and from other to be someone I could only achieve by exhausting myself to strive for perfection. I got so consumed in try to be this "perfect" version of myself, that I lost who I truly was along the way. 

Now I am not say that I have been completely free of my strive for constant perfection, but I have come great lengths in my journey from it. It took a completely devastating moment in my life, to wake me up and realize that I can physically never be "perfect" no matter how hard I tried. 

In the months after this moment, somewhere along the way I hopped off of the path of perfectionism and onto to the path of BEING MYSELF. His passing made me realize that there are so many important things in life, little moments, tiny memories, that I was missing out on; blinded by my drive to perfection. I realized I wanted more out of my life than awards, trophies, honors, congratulations and other achievements. I wanted to live a life full of amazing moments, spent with family and friends; a life full of helping others and doing good in the world; a life full of love and laughter and life.

I realized that I am WORTH FAR MORE than what I achieve. 

I, by no means, am freed of by demon of perfectionism. As this post is about how I achieved a Bachelor's degree in 2 and 1/2 year, you see that I am still striving to reach incredible heights. I still cry when I fail,  I still make myself sick over things that don't go the way I wanted them to; but I am here to say that I am better. I have come to healthier terms with my perfectionism. I still try to look my best, but only when needed. I can confidently leave the house without my hair done or makeup on my face (something I would have never been able to do in years past). I can fail at something and pick myself back up again and better myself for the next time, instead of discouraging myself and telling myself I'm a failure. I can feel confident without being 2 sizes smaller than I am and I can love myself for it too. I can let the amazing and funny personality I have shine through, instead of having a superficial wall up of the person I thought I had to be. 

I look back on times when my perfectionism got the best of me, where I was literally a walking robot striving to be someone I physically can not. I used to strive for a "perfect" version of myself, but now I strive for the "best" version of myself. Because to me the best version of myself isn't a perfect one. The best version of me makes mistakes, doesn't always make the right choices, loves me for me and realizes that the most important thing in life is family, friends, and myself.

I am here today to ask you all to strive for the "best" versions of yourselves, not the "perfect" ones. No one in this life is perfect. We were not created to be perfect. We can have big, huge, incredible dreams and achieve them, but not killing ourselves doing it. We can love ourselves for our amazing qualities, and not strive to look like or be like anyone else. We can fail and we can succeed. We fall off of the path but get right back on it. We can go fast but also take our time. Life is an incredible ride so don't get caught up in trying to make it "perfect", because I can assure you that you are missing out on all of the amazing tiny details. I hope that you learn to appreciate yourself for the human being you are and just BE YOU no matter where life takes you. I hope you learn that your worth is not measured by the things you own or the achievements you've made. You are so much more than materialistic things, so much more than other's opinions of you, and so much more than what you think you are. 

1. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. - 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

   When we are weak, God makes us strong. He does not want us to be perfect. He is there to lift us from the ashes that we stand in when things are not perfect. He makes us into our best versions of ourselves. So instead of striving for unachievable perfection, strive for the BEST version of you through God. Seek him for guidance and help. He is the shining light asking us to seek the tiny details of life, through him and with him, and not be blinded by the fears of imperfection. He is here to show us that we are ENOUGH, just the way we are. 
   
   
   
   
   
   So please, if you are struggling with striving for perfection, reach out. I am always here as a helping hand to to remind you that you are incredible by just being you. You are worth more than what you achieve and accomplish. You don't have to be the "best" you just have to be the best version of YOU! 
   P.S. If you struggle with perfectionism, please take some time and read the book The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown. A wonderful teacher/mentor suggested it to me and it has changed my life forever! It is an easy read and is so helpful and life-changing! I hope you all go out and get it, even if you don't struggle with perfectionism, it is still an amazing book!
   
   
   Sincerely, McKinnley ❧